My Summer of No
How I'm saying "YES" to myself in a season of change and uncertainty
Hi friend! I'm Vanessa - writer, certified life coach, and midlife menopausal maven. I share honest reflections on creativity, energy, and finding flow during midlife. Welcome. 🦋
It’s 10:09 PM as I sit down to write this.
I almost talked myself out of writing a weekly post.
I’m really (really) tired—body, mind, and soul.
Mothering today felt super crappy and hard and I’m frustrated at myself for being frustrated. Again.
I’m questioning everything, but mostly myself.
I took a hot shower, slathered on my skincare, and dressed in comfy cotton pjs.
I am side-eying my now-cold-hot-tea, because I want to drink it, but I also don’t want to get up 3x to pee in the middle of the night.
It’s been a week of change.
And more are on the horizon.
I picked this card on Monday morning before I even got out of bed.
A simple, intuitive message.
A delicate reassurance.
No. But thank you.
It’s Memorial Day weekend in the United States—the unofficial kickoff to summer.
And while it’s technically spring for another several weeks (and we’re having delightful spring-like weather in central North Carolina), I’ve decided to start planning my Summer of No.
No, thank you.
No, thank you, I won’t be able to make it.
No, thank you, I don’t want to do that.
No, thank you, not this time.
No more over-explaining myself.
No more Slack app on my phone.
No more skipping naps.
No more second-guessing myself.
No more could’ve-ing and should’ve-ing.
No skimping on fresh and vibrant summer fruit.
No skipping local, homemade dairy-free ice cream.
No staying in places and spaces that feel out of alignment.
No forcing myself to have everything figured out right now.
No wearing clothes that make me feel anything less than wonderful.
No holding onto things that create mental, physical, and spiritual clutter.
No more worrying if my arms are toned or if my legs are tanned.
No more playing small.
No more rushing and searching.
Saying NO is the YES I need summer.
Maybe you do too.
An update + thank you
As part of my Summer of No, I am pausing my Flourish & Flow paid offerings for a bit.
I need more time to take a breather and rest, and be open to the best way to show up and support others. Thank you to those who have inquired about things—it means so much.
Writing here each week has been a needed anchor for me in 2025.
If you’re new here, I hope you’ll read some of my favorite posts:
What’s on your Summer of No list? I’d love to know.
Wishing you a peace-filled, joy-filled weekend.
Vanessa 🦋
P.S. I’m excited to share that I’ve had two poems selected for publication in an upcoming collection. More details to come. Keep making your art, in any form. The world, especially right now, needs all the beauty.
Love this and me too. A summer of no “shoulds” and a summer of YES to myself.✨
Amazing!!! This is gunna be a good summer 😍✨