The Push & Pull of a Midlife Pivot

Showing up with intention and attention, one day at a time

Jun 15, 2025

I'm Vanessa - menopausal mama, writer, certified life coach, and creative communications strategist. I share honest reflections on creativity, energy, and finding flow during midlife. Welcome. 🦋

When you hear the word “PIVOT” and you’re of a certain age, you automatically think of this:

I’ll wait while you finish playing out this scene in your head with Chandler yelling, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut uppppppppp!!!”

Now, if you've ever taken a jazz dancing class, you’re also familiar with the dance step of pivoting.

I can still hear my dance teacher, Mrs. Richards, telling us to “Pivot. Step. Pivot. Step. Jazz hands!”

You can bet you’re 1980s butt we were warming up to “Funkytown” or “It’s Raining Men” —Mrs. Richards’ go-to songs.

(Okay, focus, Vanessa, put down your jazz hands and type.)

Here we are in June, halfway through 2025.

I’m officially 50.5 years old, and kinda feeling like Ross with the couch while also trying to do jazz hands.

A pivot, but make it intentional

To be honest, I saw this specific pivot coming last fall.

I just wasn’t ready to speak it out loud or think about it too much.

Why?

Because I am (and have been) juggling and managing and walking through some other things that require most of my energy and time.

As I wrote about earlier this year, my capacity as a menopausal mama is not what it used to be.

I’m now a mama to three “adults” and my 14 years of homeschooling is basically behind me.

Queue a bit more breathing space and less time schlepping teens to and from all the things.

I had to get real and clear with myself, that this pivot would require intention and attention.

What it didn’t require was to have all the answers, know all the things, and be stuck in my head for another six months.

I mean, I am like a super hero of ruminating, overthinking, marinating, and asking too many people for insight or “permission.”

Over these last two weeks my mantra became, “Done is better than perfect.”

I had to quiet the doubt-y voice in my head.

You know that voice, right?

The one that says, “What are you thinking? You can’t do this!” or “Who do you think you are?” or, “Why would you do this now?”

My answers to Mrs. Doubt-y Doubterson?

If not now, when?
I have gifts and wisdom to share.
I have nothing to prove or lose.
I’m a stubborn Capricorn.

I got to work.

I updated my resume.

I created a new page for my website.

I showed it to a few friends.

I asked for testimonials and feedback.

And on Friday, I shared it online.

Simple. A bit scary. Not 100 percent ready.

But ready enough.

Hi, I’m Vanessa, and I’m launching a strategic and creative communications freelance biz.

My New Biz!

A tisket, a tasket—a pivot in my laundry basket

I do several loads of laundry each week. And when I remember to get items out of the dryer and into a basket, I’ve been using the time fold everything to pause, process, and play with the idea of this pivot.

I’ve been in the marketing, PR, communications space since I graduated from college in 1997 with Professional Writing degree.

I’ve loved words, and writing, and story telling, and sharing ideas, and supporting others going back decades.

Every job I’ve had, big and small, has brought me to where I am now.

Even ones that were soul-sucking for my creative self, like ghost writing articles for gas and electric utility publications. True story.

I’ve been telling myself for years that my work in this space was just something to do to help pay bills and be able to continue to homeschool my kiddos.

That is was just work to support my other “big” dreams of always-filled coaching slots, publishing a book or speaking at events.

I felt a shift last fall and started asking myself what I wanted to focus on—where I wanted to spend my energy.

There were signs.

Funny how age brings perspective.

Funny how I finally started listening to my own intuition.

A letting go of all the things that felt confining and embracing the ones that truly light me up.

Creativity. Community. Connection.

My dreamy goal is to build a business supporting other creatives, authors, and small business doing important work.

It starts now.

Pivot. Step.

Jazz hands.

Saying “YES” to your midlife pivot

I know many of you are in the midst of this midlife unfurling.

Some days, it takes all of your power to just take the next right step.

To eat all the protein. (lawd help me)

To remember where your glasses are.

To take the walk or lift the weights or not pull a muscle.

To remember everyone’s activities.

To take your supplements, your meds, or show up to your therapy session.

To hold space for everyone you love.

And that includes yourself.

It has to.

I demand it.

(Did I mention I’m bossy?)

Put your pivot down on paper.

Draw a picture.

Speak it out loud, even just to yourself.

Dare. To. Dream.

Because if not now, when, friend?

Our world needs your perfectly imperfect pivots.

Now, more than ever.

What’s next?

I’m in the in-between of things, and I’m simply leaning in.

Doing current client work.

Prepping for a new client connection call.

Networking.

Writing here—my joy!

Pulling out my FLOW book draft (I haven’t looked at the file since January).

Reviewing my coaching offerings (stay tuned for an email later this week).

Connecting with my local community.

Taking good care of myself.

I found one of my original Trapper Keeper folders from the 80s.

As always, I love hearing from you, so please share your (possible) pivot with me.

I’ll be off next week, but posting my menopause haiku and other musings over on my Notes.

Signing off with a kick-ball-change-clap-clap-JAZZ HANDS!

Vanessa 🦋

P.S. Do you know a small business who could use my support? Please share a link to my site (my resume is also there), or shoot me an email. Thank you. 🙏🏽