(Meno)Pause for Patience
Entering my radical self-health-care era
Patience is not one of my virtues.
I was reminded of this several times over the last few weeks.
Lots of hurry up and wait.
Lots of phone calls and messages.
Lots of back and forth.
Let me back up a bit.
A few weeks ago, I co-hosted an event that was all about menopause. We screened The (M) Factor: Shedding the Silence On Menopause and held a Q&A with three local peri/menopause leaders in our local North Carolina community.
In the midst of being overjoyed with over 50 people showing up and making amazing connections, the documentary itself had my jaw on the floor.
I consider myself pretty well educated about menopause, hormones, and health. I’ve struggled with all of these things for as long as I can remember. The information on heart disease, brain health, lifestyle, and lack of research had me in tears at one point.
Without going into all the details, the movie was the butt kick I needed to embrace RADICAL SELF-HEALTH-CARE.
You see, my white-knuckling menopause transition back in the summer of 2023 still hovers over me.
And it’s showed up in my recent lab work.
All we need is just a little patience…
I recently had a CT scan of my heart to check for inflammation and some other things that being 50 and in menopause bring up to the surface.
“You’ll have the results back in 24 hours,” the tech said.
Cool, cool. I was on my way, heading to get groceries.
24 hours came and went, and nothing.
Messages went back and forth for days.
I was pretty confident all would be okay, but my patience was running thin.
I tend to ruminate and play scenarios out in my head.
Over and over.
Seven days went by, and finally (finally!) I got the call that said my heart was fine.
My impatience abated a tiny bit. I felt the tension I’d been carrying lessen.
But just a bit.
There were still several things my menopause nurse practitioner and I agreed I needed to work on.
Truth be told, none of these things were a huge surprise. I’ve been “working” on my health for approximately a bajillion years.
I feel like I’ve been patient enough.
When will I be “fixed”? Or will I struggle for the rest of my life?
Impatient.
Ooh yeah, just a little patience…
On Monday morning, I did my normal morning routine and ritual and selected an angel card.
Patience.
Hm, okay. I hadn’t had that card in a long time.
I popped into Voxer for a coaching client chat, and in her message, she talked about her struggle with patience.
Oh! Wild, I thought. That card must be for her.
(Yup, I can see you side-eyeing me, Universe)
Throughout the week, we chatted back and forth, connecting and brainstorming.
It was lovely.
Fast forward to Friday morning, and I am a bit groggy because I was awake at 2:30 AM to watch the lunar eclipse.
I head over to my angel cards, shuffle them, and flip one over.
Yeah. I can’t make this up.
Here, I was thinking this card, this energy, was for my sweet coaching client.
Silly me.
Some more patience…
Here’s the thing about patience—she wants what’s best for you.
She’s in your corner. She’s cheering you on.
She’s quiet perseverance.
She’s little, sustainable habits.
She’s a gentle push.
She’s a kind word and a steady hand.
She’s exactly who I need to embrace right now.
My body has endured quite a bit these last 25 years (more, if I’m being honest).
And yet, she shows up for me every damn day.
But now, she needs my help.
She needs my gratitude.
She needs my mindset shifts.
She needs my walks and weights.
She needs sleep and sunshine.
But mostly, she needs my patience.
A poem + reflection
Lately, I've been dreaming about my waistline and belly, and how I haven't been friends with them since pregnancies stretched me out 20 years ago. I guess I thought everything would just snap back, bounce back into place, back into shape. My mother reminded me that JLO also had twins, and wow, doesn't she look great? I dream about my 22-year-old body and how I'd rock a baby tee that said "Billion Dollar Babe" or cut-off jean shorts. Just thinking about them makes it hard to breathe. My muscles, separated, never closed back together. But isn't it a gift that my body doesn't need to be separated from... beauty, delight, joy, grace, elastic waist pants, and a nod to the goddess.
Said woman, take it slow…
Where could you use a little patience in your life?
What would it feel like to slow down and sit with the discomfort, sit with the questions, or look at your particular situation from a different point of view?
And yes, the headers of this post are inspired by my favorite Guns-N-Roses song, Patience. #alwaysforevergenx.
Patience is such a interesting topic, thanks for your post Vanessa. I thing for me it's about learning to trust the natural timing of life. True patience isn’t passive, it’s a quiet strength that allows me to move forward without forcing outcomes. I guess it comes from understanding that growth, healing, and success unfold in their own time, much like a seed that takes root before it blooms. The more I focus on the present moment rather than the finish line, the easier patience becomes for me ❤️ wishing you a patient day!